Stove-top Popcorn Recipe

In general, the “batch” posts on this blog are Leah’s. It’s “batch” like in “batch of cookies,” because Leah likes food: she puts on cooking classes, has an MS in nutrition, and is a registered dietitian. Also, she’s just really great in the kitchen. The “narrative” posts are mine—I like writing and I teach high school English (and he’s really good with words –Leah). I probably don’t write as much as I should, but I’m getting back into it through this blog. And then there are the “everything else” posts, which we both do, and so far have included entries about llamas, the mill we live in, and things related to North Carolina.

I’m not too passionate about cooking (though I am passionate about eating), with one exception: popcorn. I am, with absolute humbleness, the best popcorn popper you have ever met. I do stove top only, and I can hardly stand to even see other people prepare popcorn, because they’re always doing it wrong. To rectify this, let’s go over quickly the only acceptable way to make popcorn. You will need:

  • 20180118_164744
    All the items you will need (minus the bread knife)

    A bag of un-popped popcorn kernels

  • Olive oil
  • Salt (finely ground)
  • A medium-sized pot with lid
  • A stove (don’t dare try the microwave)
  • Forearm strength

Put the olive oil in the pot. Cover the bottom, then put in enough popcorn kernels to cover 75% of the oil. You want enough extra oil to lightly coat the kernels. This is the only flavoring you could ever possibly want, besides salt, unless you happen to be into something like nutritional yeast (post about that here). Yes, olive oil has a strong flavor. If you’re feeling cowardly, use vegetable oil, but I promise after two or three or twenty pots of popcorn cooked in olive oil you’ll absolutely learn to love it.

20180118_165104
All ready to shake

Put the lid on that sucker and place it on a burner, on a setting between medium and high. Then go and watch a YouTube clip of “The Office” or use the bathroom or water your succulents; whatever kills about two minutes. After two minutes you should hear the oil sizzling. Now it’s all warm so you should get an even pop. Crank the heat to maximum and start shaking the entire pot with VIGOR. I find it helps to put one hand on the pot’s handle and the other on the lid. It will be LOUD—this is not the food to make while someone is sleeping in the house—but such is the price of a perfect snack.

Really, the only way you can mess this up is by burning the kernels or oil, which might happen if you stop shaking. When the popcorn is done popping empty the pan into a bowl and salt to taste. Don’t even dream of putting sugar on your popcorn (kettle corn is an abomination), and put water in the pan when you’re done for easy cleaning. And that is my contribution to the batch side of things. Enjoy!

–Jeff and Leah20180118_165740

9 thoughts on “Stove-top Popcorn Recipe

  1. jonathan jessup

    YESSSS!! Jeff, I completely agree with this; the only way to pop popcorn is via the “stove top!” That’s how my mama does it and we all know, “Mama’s know best!”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jake

    You have something against air poppers? Regardless, I’ll give this a shot tonight. If it’s anything less than chaotic masterpiece, I’ll hold you personally responsible, Jeff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. PLEASE reply back and tell us how it blew your mind.

      Also… STOVE TOP > AIR POP > MICROWAVE IN A BOWL OF OIL (put a plate on top, it’s like the poor man’s version of stove top) > sand in the face > kicked in the face > MICROWAVE BAGS

      Like

      1. Jake

        It turned out well overall, but what really blew my mind was a change in oil. I have avocado oil and chipotle oil, so I combined those two, which turned the popcorn into a slightly spicy and a little lighter treat. I mean, the olive oil is good, but the flavor derived from it is a little too powerful for my afternoon snack.

        Fine work on your popcorn making methods, Jeff, and thanks for sharing!

        Liked by 1 person

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